Signs its going to be a bad day

Here are some tell-tale signs it's gonna be a bad day. If any of these things happen, DO NOT leave the house. Crawl back into bed and start over again tomorrow.

- You wake up face down on the pavement.
- You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
- You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.
- Your blind date turns out to be your ex.
- Your income check bounces.
- Your pet rock snaps at you.
- Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
- Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.
- Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
- You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.

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