Funny fail april 2012

The smell of cookies

An elderly man was at home, dying in bed. He smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he died... He fell out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs, and crawled into the kitchen where his wife was busily baking cookies. With waning strength he crawled to the table and was just barely able to lift his withered arm to the cookie sheet. As he grasped a warm, moist, chocolate chip cookie, his favourite kind, his wife suddenly whacked his hand with a spatula. "Why?" he whispered. "Why did you do that?" "They're for the funeral," she replied.

Duck Hunting

A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in eastern North Carolina. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I'm going into retrieve it." To which the old farmer replied "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer answered back, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything!" The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things here in North Carolina. We settle small disagreements like this with the NC Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the NC three-Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up." The Yankee attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old southerner. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the Yankee lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up. The Yankee lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old redneck southerner, now it's my turn." The old North Carolina farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."

Redneck Pacifier

The blonde and her husband

Check out the joke by clicking the link below.

http://www.aleddy.com/there-was-a-blonde-and-her-husband/

Test

Hello this is a test

Shark Attact

"Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a shark they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as possible. " "If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump. "

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